I wish of a time when I am older and wealthy, coming home to my chic flat, retro with Elle covers plastered on my wall and clothes thrown over a mannequin and slouch sofa, plonking my keys to my Porsche on my coffee-stained oak table, shouting with glee,
“Honey, I’m home!” and being greeted by my, sexy, gorgeous, irresistible pair of Jimmy Choo’s.
Please tell me now, do we really need those extra stilettos because they are on sale?
Dear shoes. You can make stumpy curves into super beauties. You are something we will always be better at than our boyfriends (Bonus). We feel so special when we slip into the right size lusciously. You make us feel like glamour with a fantastic finish, but why do you become out of style and distort our feet to a shrimp inside our favourite size 2 ankle boots after a growth spurt. From a concerned citizen x
Seeing the brilliant pair that will always be in style, a designer among the best, that will always fit into your feet, never have a chance of breaking, are on sale under £50 and look like the shoes you always imagined but even better can happen…but only in your dreams* *dream’s may vary from the preferred imageBut WHY exactly are we so addicted to them?
Let me give you this little rhyme to lock into your head next time you, without will power obsess about shoes, chant it with me, ladies;
“We have been given brilliant eyes to look up to the skies.
Still, most ladies we meet, we stare jealously at their feet”
The average woman will spend £16 000-31 000 on shoes in their lifetime, but that’s only probably about £50 per pair! With big hits like Prada, Miu Miu, Gucci, Surface to Air and a lot more (that would take me a few months to list) all with shoes over £200 (obviously worth it), we might be slowly or very quickly going into millions. Are shoes really more life worthy than a mansion? A butler, a maid? A amazing wedding? On the other hand, what’s a great wedding without shoes? For the men reading overhead, what’s a sexy maid without 6 inch heels. This, my fellow slaves to shoes, is what troubles my already disastrous mind.
They sure do slow you down, even though they make your legs look longer. Erm, well. I have quite wide feet and find it hard to find a amazing pair, though I can if I look, could be a problem see? but with beautiful thin luscious feet, who’s stopping you?!
Try to invest in something that’s worth the cash, like a simple pair of black shoes that work with most outfits, that will always be at the side of style, if not in the spotlight, and that don’t break after a day or two. £600 for shoes dangling with peacocks feathers, coloured with so many colours, blue‘s, red‘s, green‘s, Basically the whole fandango, with MASSIVE studs? Gorgeous shoes when you got them a few months ago, not QUITE so fashionable when sensible kitten heels are storming into the catwalk. Or when teamed with a straight camel coat and long trouser leg. Or when the heel snaps off. But still, if you have the perfect dress to go with it, or they are invincible, complete with their own mini cape (a camel work cape, but of course) or it’s for some kind of runway ready, ultimate fashionista look with accessories and clothes to die for, I’m not objecting, obviously I’d NEVER object to fashion.
Just think of that information (and the rhyme) before you stride in to the shop, head held high. Though you wont need to worry about being too confident when you look at the price. Unless, if your swimming in cash. Wouldn’t that mean your swimming in shoes too. Hmm…
Is it the colour, the shape, the price, the way they caress and give happiness to your soles and your souls? Actually, that is only if you can find the perfect pair, and that’s the ONLY situation in which your ruby red slippers are telling you the right way to go. But not home, to the checkout.
A master, whether with 600 shoes or 6 should know the perfect pair of shoes is what every lady needs. Lime or Leather, Sparkles or Studs, if you’re even slightly unsure don’t buy them, if you love it, you buy it. With the exception that you either have 100+ shoes that you wear once and leave them, neglected in your wardrobe, or you have enough shoes to, having sold them, can buy 2 houses, five cars and a butler (*nudge nudge*).
So do you really need another pair.
Let me rephrase it;
Will you love these shoes, cherish them? Will you become one with them? Wear them until they snap in half, until they are implanted into your foot and you need a doctor surgically remove them? Or erm, at least twice? (answer honestly now, girls)
No? Then take a little break for a bit.
Yes? Then you should get them.
But still, do look through your old shoes. Or your mum‘s, your dad‘s (*shivers* even though he might have some rouges for your gorge trouser legs), or even further retro, gran’s etc. you never know, you might find something with a little more sparkle and shine left…